I AM IN FAVOR OF LOVE
Let me explain it to you: be true to love, and don't bother about partners. Whether one partner or many partners is not the question. The question is whether you are true to love. If you live with a woman or with a man and you don't love him, you live in sin. If you are married to somebody and you don't love that person and you still go on living with him, making love to him or her, you are committing a sin against love... and love is God.
You are deciding against love for social comforts, conveniences, formalities. It is as wrong as if you go and rape a woman you don't love. You go and rape a woman; it is a crime -- because you don't love the woman and the woman does not love you. But the same happens if you live with a woman and you don't love her. Then it is a rape -- socially accepted, of course, but it is a rape -- and you are going against the God of love.
In the East, people have decided to live with one partner for their whole lives; nothing is wrong. If you remain true to love, it is one of the most beautiful things to remain with one person, because intimacy grows. But, ninety-nine per cent are the possibilities that there is no love; you only live together. And by living together a certain relationship grows which is only of living together, not of love. And don't mistake it for love. But if it is possible, if you love a person and live the whole life with him or with her, a great intimacy will grow and love will have deeper and deeper revelations to make to you.
It is not possible if you go on changing partners very often. It is as if you go on changing a tree from one place to another, then another; then it never grows roots anywhere. To grow roots, a tree needs to remain in one place. Then it goes deeper; then it becomes stronger. Intimacy is good, and to remain in one commitment is beautiful, but the basic necessity is love. If a tree is rooted in a place where there are only rocks and they are killing the tree, then it is better to remove it. Then don't insist that it should remain in the one place.
Remain true to life -- remove the tree, because now it is going against life.
In the West, people are changing -- too many relationships. Love is killed in both ways. In the East it is killed because people are afraid to change; in the West it is killed because people are afraid to remain with one partner for a longer time -- afraid because it becomes a commitment. So before it becomes a commitment, change. So you remain floating and free, so a certain licentiousness is growing. And in the name of freedom, love is almost crushed, starved to death. Love has suffered both ways: in the East people cling to security, comfort, formality; in the West they cling to their ego's freedom, non-commitment -- but love is suffering both ways.
I am in favor of love. I am neither Eastern nor Western, and I don't bother to which society you belong. I belong to no society. I am in favor of love. Always remember: if it is a love relationship, good.
While love lasts remain in it, and remain in it as deeply committed as possible. Remain in it as totally as possible; be absorbed by the relationship. Then love will be able to transform you. But if there is no love, it is better to change. But then, don't become an addict of change. Don't make it a habit.
Don't let it become a mechanical habit that you have to change after each two or three years as one has to change one's car after each two or three years, or after each year. A new model comes, so what to do? -- you have to change your car. Suddenly, you come across a new woman. It is not much different. A woman is a woman, as a man is a man. The differences are only secondary because it is a question of energy. The female energy is female energy. In each woman all women are represented, and in each man all men are represented. The differences are very superficial: the nose is a little longer, or it is not a little longer; the hair is blond or brunette -- small differences, just on the surface. Deep down, the question is of female and male energy.
So if love is there, stick to it. Give it a chance to grow. But if it is not there, change before you become addicted to a relationship without love.
A young wife in the confessional box asked the priest about contraceptives. "You must not use them," said the priest. "They are against God's law. Take a glass of water."
"Before, or after?" asked the wife.
"Instead!" replied the priest.
You ask me whether to follow the Eastern way or the Western way. Neither; you follow the divine way. And what is the divine way? -- remain true to love. If love is there, everything is permitted. If love is not there, nothing is permitted. If you don't love your wife don't touch her, because that is trespassing. If you don't love a woman, don't sleep with her; that is going against the law of love, and that is the ultimate law. Only when you love is everything permitted.
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